Merry Christmas Eve...

Well i'm sittin here in my home, Lilly is layin next to her toy and I'm all packed for Christmas and ready to go home to my family...but this lovely White Christmas (sense the sarcasm) is stopping that for the moment. I'm at home on call, was supposed to be at the hospital working tonight which is why i couldn't leave for KC yesterday before all this craziness got started. So I'm praying that things clear up and that I will be able to make it to my family and have a Christmas this weekend at least. Meanwhile, I'm watchin weather reports and christmas movies and not feeling very well either so i'm trying to take it easy and get to where i'm not feeling so crappy! At times like these when I'm wishing things were different, I'm reminded how much i have and how lucky I am. Thank God for all the blessings he has given me and continues to give me! I hope all my friends and family have a very Merry Christmas! Enjoy some of the pics i took tonight of the beginning of lots of snow!

Christmas tree oh christmas tree...

Well after alot of problems trying to get it up I finally got my Christmas tree up! yay!!! First my tree broke, then i super glued it back together (yes its plastic), then i didn't have enough lights for the tree, then when i went to hang the ornaments i found out I apparently didn't have any hooks! lol So happy to finally have it up!!! This will be my first time in my new house...reminds me that Christmas aside from being a celebration of Jesus's birthday is about friends and family...and the pretty lights (haha)! I'm so glad to know God is blessing me continually even when I may not realize it! Though I still have some huge desires of my heart that I'm waiting to see what God is doing with...waiting is so hard sometimes. But meanwhile, I'm going to enjoy the Christmas season....

Happy Thanksgiving!

Well I survived cooking most of the Thanksgiving dinner though mom made the most important thing, the homemade egg noodles! :) my favorite! I made the turkey (cajun injected it), ham, stuffing, gravy, homemade mashed potatoes (that i make really well!) and also made a breakfast casserole for my family to eat in the morning that i kinda just through together! My family has now seen my house and I think are pretty impressed and proud of me at the same time. Only kid that's a homeowner! After they left it was a quiet night, i watched Home Alone on tv and read a book, got a visit from a friend and talked on the phone...all in all a nice relaxing evening. Its a good thing too cuz after cooking all day and cleaning that morning and the night before and working the 2 days prior I was EXHAUSTED!!! Now I'm out in KC spending more time with the fam and gonna try to get some Christmas shopping accomplished with mom! Also next week I will officially have paid off my car 2 1/2 years early! Yipee!!! God is blessing me so much, can't wait to see what else he has in store for my life!

My thoughts for today...

Well I have enjoyed a nice couple of days off. Did a little cleaning but nothing too drastic. Took time out to spend some much needed time with some of my girls and of course get some play time with the kiddos. I have been blessed so much in the past month or so that I am able to go to church every week now. For years work had hindered that and its amazing what a difference it makes that I can have that time each week to come to God's house and worship him, no inhibitions, no worries about what's goin on in my life or what's lacking...just time for me and him. Though, I spend a lot of time talking to God anymore...praying to him, not only for myself but for others who I feel need his presence so deeply in their lives. A song was played at church last Sunday "Rescue" by Newsong...its words brought me to tears...such a heartfelt song. If you know me at all you know that my heart tends to be expressed a lot through songs and music, especially when it comes to God. The song's lyrics are below:

You are the source of life
I can't be left behind
No one else will do
I will take hold of you

I need you Jesus, I need you Jesus

My heart is Yours for Life
I need your Hand in mind
No one else will do
Lord, I put my trust in You

I need you Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else could I go?
There's no other name by
which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow You

My heart is yours for life
I need your hand in mine
No one else will do
Lord, I put my trust in you

I need you Jesus to
Come to my rescue
Where else could i go?
There's no other name by
which i am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow You

This world has nothing for me
I will follow You
This world has nothing for me
I will follow You

I need you Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else could i go?
There's no other name
by which i am saved
Capture me with grace

I need you Jesus come to my rescue
where else can i go?
There's no other name by which I am saved
Capture me with grace

I will follow you...I will follow You

I just love the lyrics to this song...such powerful and praising words to God. I am reading a book right now that talks about love languages and my #1 is Words of Affirmation, meaning that the way I give love and recieve love the most is through words so its no surprise to me that music would play such a heart felt place in my life. I spend a lot of time in silence anymore, thinking of my past, looking at my present, and planning for my future, but the most amazing thing is that I never have to worry about any of that because God has all of that figured out, he has a plan that is one of good (Jeremiah 29:11) and I find an extreme amount of peace in this. Though I am human and will have my moments of worry I know that his plan for my life is better than anything I could ever dream up! I am so grateful to have a wonderful family, and friends that not only encourage me in my life with God by my side but that also walk their lives with the same outlook and that is toward God! Words could never express what that means to me, and I know its all God's doing!

life goes on....

Well I got blinds finally and put them up in the front of my house (Thanks for helping Matt! You rock!)! It looks so nice, but of course with any house project it didn't come without a little difficulty lol! Oops my friend Kathy just showed up! Write more later! :)

Weekend Fun!

My sis came into town for a day so I tried to show her a good time! Went to a Halloween (my 1st!) party and then took her down town and then had some friends over on Sunday! It was a great weekend! Even got to show off my church to my sis (she loved it by the way of course!)! Wish it coulda lasted longer, her and I hardly ever get to see each other. The family is coming here for Thanksgiving though, so that should be great! I'm very excited!

A rough day...

I know I've spoken of the love I have for my job, I still stand true to that but some things about my job aren't so glorious. A little one died last night that I had been caring for for weeks. It was heartbreaking to hear, i was up the rest of the night just to have a busy stressful day at work (the winter busy season has definitely hit!)! My heart reaches out to the family who lost their little one, its always so hard because there is never the right words to say to comfort them, but just to let them know that I care is all I can do and to let them know they are in my prayers. She was a little angel baby and had a wonderful family that loved her so very much. I pray that God be with them in this hard time, give them healing, peace and strength. Luckily they are a christian family so I have peace that they are leaning on God and have been from the beginning of this little ones life. Still I couldn't imagine the loss they must feel. I'm off to bed now, tomorrow its back to work again, not a lot of time to grieve over the loss of a little one in my profession.

sitting here

Still settling into my new home...starting to feel like a home now. Though it is sooooo quiet. I had forgotten what it was to live by myself. I had great friends Kiela and John that welcomed me into their home while I was waiting for my house closing. They each have a child so I got very accustomed to living as a family again, it was nice...forgot what it was like to come home to people and hear conversation and voices in the house all the time. Now I have to get used to the silence again, being in my own thoughts which can sometimes be a dangerous thing haha. I find myself trying to keep busy, which right now isn't hard cuz i still have so much to do in the house, but I already long for conversation, companionship...to hear a voice haha aside from my dogs barking. Speaking of the house, I will get pictures up when I have everything unpacked and settled...

Its been a while...

Sorry for not keeping up with this thing! Fyi i don't have Sophie, she got taken back by the neighbor who felt she had first dibs on the dog, so that was crappy and sad! As for the house, I have lived here for a week now and am very much enjoying it, though it would be nice if i had blinds up so no one could see into every inch of my house...though this takes money, that i don't have haha. I have painted all 3 bedrooms and the bathroom. I'm still needing to get some more furniture but it has come a long pretty well! My sis is visiting at the end of the month and i am very excited for this is a rarity and can't wait to hang with her! I will get picks up when i get the chance but if you wanna see my house just call me and ask, i would love to show it off to ya!

Updates to the house

Before i hit my yard with a lawn mower my grass was about a foot long and let me tell you i was feelin the pain from that for a while haha. Doesn't it look great now! Such a big yard! The only thing missing from these pics is the fence that now stands :-)

New addition to my family!

It's a Girl!!!! haha My temporary roomies Kiela and John were at home yesterday when a couple of teenagers walked by with a dog. The dog came into John and Kiela's yard and decided not to leave! When the kids came back by they were told their dog was there and they said they didn't want him that he was gonna get shot anyway cuz the owner didn't want her anymore. John and Kiela then were trying to figure out what to do and it occurred to them that I should have her haha! So when i came home from work and asked who's dog they said yours! I thought they were joking but turns out they were serious and so my family has grown to 3 now. Lilly wasn't so accepting at first but she is warming up to her, especiallly since she is bigger than the lil one! I think I am going to name her Sophie because she kept trying to jump up on the sofas. She is a terrier and probably not much more than a year old. She is cuddly and quiet and just wants to please me, we are working on training her but she is a quick little learner except she doesn't know her name so that will take time haha.

Where its at...

So I have been a homeowner for almost a week now...though its exciting and i have this huge sense of accomplishment..let me tell ya what i have learned! Being a homeowner is expensive!!! And it is literally a pain! Not as in an inconvenience, as in painful. I mowed the lawn...did i mention it was almost a foot high grass???!!! Then i painted my bathroom a different color...which by the way both look awesome!!!! I will have pictures and videos to show as soon as i have the energy to put it all up! lol

A new chapter about to begin...

So I will officially be a homeowner tomorrow. I am so grateful to God for blessing me with this opportunity especially as an independent single woman. Though gettin to this point has been like a rollercoaster, I'm glad I'm buying a house and wont have to do this again for a very long time! haha Don't think my stomach could take much more of it! Lots of work yet to do on the house...moving, painting, decorating, cleaning, organizing, mowing, trimming...and the list goes on and on haha. I'm definitely needing help also! Anyone who has the time! Especially on the moving end of things!!! Can't do it all by myself! haha

Trying to remain positive and hopeful...

So I'm supposed to be closing on my house this Thursday, but as I have been told by many people, there seems to be some uncertainty of if that will happen or not. Nothing I can do anything about but I can't help but be disappointed that this is where things sit right now. We will see...I'm just praying it all pans out between now and then...

Ready for some calm days...

Got back from Dallas on Sunday. Had a fantastic time and learned so much about the indian culture. Reema and Ricky look so happy together. It was great to see Reema so at peace and happy with where she is at in her life right now. I enjoyed just watching all the celebrating and ceremonies, taking it all in. I will post pictures soon when I get the time. I even enjoyed the traveling. During my driving I listened to another Andy Stanley sermon called Faith, Hope and Luck. It was awesome. I just love listening to sermons while I'm driving. Didn't use to but I've had quite a change of heart. I used to just drive and sing, don't get me wrong is still do that but I find using my long drives for learning and growing in God. Its an amazing time for little to no distractions and just some quiet time with me and God. So nice!

Today at work I was sent to go help in the special care nursery. I held a little premie who's mom is not going to get to keep him because her other 3 kids have already been taken away and she isn't a fit mother. Such a difficult reality for this new little blessing that has been brought into such a difficult world. The nurse taking care of him had no hesitation telling me to hold him while she went to do some things. I picked him up immediately, he squirmed and took some time to get comfortable, but then just fell into my arms. I sat there rocking him ever so slightly and just thought how much of a blessing a little child is and how sad it is that this mother couldn't make the decisions in her life to give him the life and mother he so desperately needs and deserves. I found myself starting to sing, like i do so often when i'm holding little ones. But for the first time I found myself singing Jesus loves me to him. Seemed to me that depending on the life he leads from this point on that I wasn't sure if he would ever have someone in his life that tells him Jesus loves him...i just felt so moved to sing it over and over. And then I sang a song to him that I've been singing since i was a little girl and to this day when life hands me difficult situations I find it layed on my heart.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and never lean on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your path. When I am discouraged or when i am afraid i put my trust in my father and I look upon his name. All of my cares and troubles, i'll leave at his feet. For i know my heavenly father, will always stand by me. Trust in the Lord."

I sang this song in church when i was about 8 or 9 years old and haven't sung it in public since, but for some reason I have never forgotten it. What wonderful words!

So as i sat holding this pressure little baby boy, i prayed protection and blessing over him, and that he would come to know God and seek him no matter what this world brought his way. Its all I could offer this precious little babe.

Ready for a vacation!!!

Well in the middle of all that is going on this month I am taking a small trip to celebrate the engagement of my friend Reema to her fiance Ricky. I'm heading to Dallas this weekend for a big party that they are throwing to bring in the beginning of what should be some fun times in planning their wedding and the rest of their lives together! I'm so happy for the both of them that they managed to find the person they will spend the rest of their lives with. Next weekend I'm a bridesmaid in a wedding that i mentioned before (Matt and Daylee) and then the next weekend is my closing for my house! Just crazy how it all sneaks up on ya! haha I'm excited for it all though! Its so fun to watch my friends have such wonderful moments in their lives. Of course I can't help but wonder when some of that stuff will happen for me but I am doing all that I can to just trust in God and his plan for my life. Right now my baby is my house! Though my patience is growing thinner by the day I continually remind myself of the prize, I'll be a homeowner! Of course that comes with a lot of responsibilities and challenges but I'm excited for the challenge! Well I need to go pack my bags as I am heading for KC after work tomorrow! Then early flight friday morning! Dallas here I come!

Today I love my job!

Everyone has times that they are so ready for a vacation or just don't want to go to work. At times we find ourselves asking ourselves if its time to move to something new. Then we have those days where we remember why we do what we do, we see the purpose God had behind opening the doors to what career we have chosen. For me one of those days was today...I have them every once in a while...nothing special really happened today, just another day at work. I always try to do my best to treat each patient as if they were my child, and each family as if they were my family. I try to put myself into their shoes, to understand their frustrations, their sadness, happiness, blow ups, even their neglecting their own child. Some things I can't understand though I will always try to do my best not to judge though sometimes it comes very easily. We have had a lot of loss in my unit this year and it continues to come, this is a sad atmosphere to spend on a daily basis but there is always that glimmer of hope, that one child that makes great strides and then the child that takes all the resources we have and makes baby steps and then sometimes steps backwards. My job is kind of like a marriage, you take the good with the bad sometimes... I hope i remember days like these when i'm going through some of the bad...

Pics as promised!

Bachelorette fun!

So My friends Matt and Daylee have been dating for 7 years now and have a cutie lil man, Jaden, that so affectionately calls me "Nana". On September 12th they will be getting married, so as keeping with tradition we went out on the town this past Saturday and helped them celebrate the beginning of a married life together. We got a party bus and and had a blast! Some had more "fun" than others but it was definitely a good time! And most importantly Daylee and Matt had the times of their lives with some of the people they lov

e the most! I was glad to be there to celebrate with them! And can't wait to be a part of their happy day as I am a bridesmaid (yes once again! haha) in their wedding. I will post some pics here in a few! Enjoy!

Lifes lessons

I am continually being reminded by God that he is ever present in everything! I went to a new church group tonight and had a great time! Its funny that every lesson i end up sitting in on or every cd i put in to listen to a teaching seems to be something that reminds me of what I need to remember, or points out things that I had forgotten, or even points out something I'd rather not admit or wouldn't even think of otherwise. For the past month of so I hear an ever resounding "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding!" These of course are a scripture, but! this the words of a song that i sang as a young child in church! Who knew that 20 years later it would be such a huge reminder to what I am called to in my daily walk through life. GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME!!! :-)

Pics of my house

Here are some pics of my house! It needs a little TLC but is pretty much move in ready! And i'm ready to move in. Just waiting waiting waiting! I'll be looking for helpers for moving and painting! Any takers??? :)

Patience for my pad!

For those of you who don't know I am in the middle of purchasing my first house! It's an adorable house and I am so excited to start the journey of being a homeowner! Its a 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom, 2 car garage (detached), all wood floors, brand new paint, and stainless steel appliances. I am doing some work to the house before I move in which include a 6 foot cedar privacy fence. The house also has a front deck! There are some other changes that will be happening as well, I can't wait to get in and get started. Closing date is September 17th as of right now but I'm hoping for it to move up! A quick thank you to all those who helped me move out of my condo into my temporary location. I look forward to the time i'm not living on 1/4th of my wardrobe and out of boxes and bags haha! Pictures to come!